Time after Time

I’ve never understood the concept of Time. Or should I say I understand, but I never follow Time. Don’t get me wrong. I know what year this is, I’m a little fuzzy on the days but I at least know what month we are in (currently April…right?) After all, the seasons tell me so.

Let me explain by saying, I don’t keep time. I never carried a watch nor did I ever have a calendar hanging around my apartment. I don’t keep an appointment book, so if I have to meet a friend or attend an event, I mostly rely on memory or the social pressure that makes a person send a follow up email or reminder (thought I must admit, this can backfire). I’ve just never cared too much for Time, well, because I relish living in the moment. The present is where I am, and if it seems too far off, then I’ll think about it when it happens. Some people are much more reliant on Time. I’ve never been much of an itinerary person, in fact I find myself trying to break the schedule just because it feels too constricting. I need to breathe. To feel. To live.

Time is always unpredictable, but I’ve had great moments with Time. Like the first time I fell in love, I remember how it felt living in that moment, breathing the air, his smell intoxicating my presence. Or the time I followed my heart and threw caution to the wind, only to be led to exotic lands, with the waves of the beach tickling my skin.  Living without time has been exhilarating for me. Time is truly of the essence. Throw away the watch and just enjoy where you are and whom you are with at the moment. After years of being on a set schedule, it’s kind of amazing to just go by chance. I’ve had friends who tell me without time, they feel lost. What’s wrong with that? Embrace feeling lost. Go on…lose yourself!

There are times when Time is truly helpful. Like after suffering a broken heart. Time heals all wounds.

I remember someone once telling me they hadn’t seen me in x amount of years. What surprised me was that while I knew we hadn’t seen each other for a long time, I was not sure nor did I care to know exactly how many years it had been. When I was told how long, I felt a little disappointed. It had been a long Time. Time was slipping away.

I’m back home now from being away for three years. People who are asking me pretty tough questions? What are you going to do now? Settle down? Have children? Time is not on my side.  However, the older I get , I realize only Time will tell.

Me? I’m not telling.